The moment was perfect.

Rufus squatted behind an overflowing dumpster, waiting. He was wearing a balaclava to hide his face.

Then the Pope arrived, advancing slowly, as if in procession. He was carrying an enormous spoon, made of gold, on his shoulder.

Rufus was ready to jump out of his hiding place and attack the Pope with the fork he was holding in his right hand, when he heard him speak to one of his cardinals.

He was speaking in a very low voice, but Rufus was so near that he could hear everything.

“Condoms, for example”, the Pope was saying. “Condoms are alright. I mean, they are not necessarily wrong. Sometimes they are, but not always. God Himself disclosed this truth to me, last night.”

“I’m sure He did, His Holiness”, replied the cardinal.

Rufus was shocked at hearing these words. They changed everything. There was no need, now, to attack the Pope. He dropped the fork, removed the balaclava and walked away, feeling relieved, almost happy, almost a Catholic.

The Pope and his train of Bishops and Cardinals proceeded on, humming silent prayers in a strange language.

In the distance, heaps of rubbish were burning.